by Bonnie Roberts

Did you ever notice how The Bible says you either worship God or mammon, not both? Yet, "In God we trust" is plastered on every single "piece of mammon." Is that supposed to be some lame compromise?

Do you ever wonder why we want to be hot in winter when it's cold and cold in summer when it's hot? Are we contrary? Or just impossible to please?

Do you ever wonder why you have dated a long line of "psychological serial killers"? And what mental illnesses they have given you? Are there condoms to prevent MI's?

by Bonnie Roberts

Lately, I've been more than usually concerned about the unchecked powers of the police in society. If I come up missing, you'll know whom to investigate first, right?

I'm not saying, by any means, that all policemen abuse their power. Only recently, I called on Huntsville police for help. They were timely, kind, reassuring, and thorough in their work.

by Bonnie Roberts

Heroes come in all shapes and sizes, in all ages, in both genders, in all careers and non-careers. When I hear the word "hero," I think of a 5'1" young woman, with short brown hair and the smile of an optimist - wide and winning. I think of a former student of mine; a co-director of the Limestone Dust Poetry Festival; a friend who sweeps and mops my floors when I'm not able; a friend who laughs with me, and all around me; a friend who, in serious times, takes charge; someone who takes care of and stands by her own family.

When I think of "hero," I think of Ms. Ruth Braswell.

In high school, Ruth was not a "mainstream" student. Most public schools are designed for one shape only. Ruth didn't match that particular shape, so there wasn't much place for her in the system. She dropped out at 16; and, by 17, was living on her own.

Now, however, after detours, unexpected bends and crashes, she has made her own place in this world, has found her own voice, her own paths.

Bonnie: Ruth, what were some of the biggest obstacles you had to overcome in order to find the path you wanted to take for your life's work?

Ruth: One of the hardest things I dealt with was coming out as a lesbian and not feeling like that made me a bad person. During my teens, I suffered from deep depression that has taken the rest of my life to control. I've also questioned my faith in God, and faith in myself.

Now, I am proud of who I am, and with that, comes a sense of peace that cannot be found any other way.

Bonnie: Loving oneself is a lifelong journey. You are well on your way. It does take a long time to pull oneself out of depression and feelings of worthlessness. How did poetry help give you faith in yourself?

Ruth: Poetry helped me gain perspective. I have often used writing as a way of working through a thought or idea. It allows me to take a step back, to see the bigger picture. Writing was always a release, but to stand up and perform that poem was to be liberated from those thoughts and emotions. Spoken Word taught me to have confidence in my words and, therefore, in my ideas. Attending poetry readings and events allowed me to meet like-minded people whose praise and kind words helped to build me up.

I am grateful for every poet in my life, and for every poem that has ever been shared with me. Those words have helped to heal my soul and taught me that I am not alone.

Now, poetry constantly reminds me of the beauty that surrounds me, even when life is at its darkest.

Bonnie:   You told me you once felt "stuck," and couldn't seem to break away from dead-end jobs, despite your strong work ethic.

Your lowest “crappy blue collar job"?

Ruth: Dispatcher at a plumbing company - as it went under.

(Both laugh)

Bonnie: You couldn't face returning to college, which you had begun at one time, but had dropped out.   You became the devoted caretaker for your father and for Monique, your partner, both of whom had been diagnosed with cancer, in 2009 and 2010, respectively.

But now, you have returned to college, full-time. You have a 4.0 average, have completed your 2 years of required subjects at Calhoun and are soon transferring to UAH, as well as having started your own business, Green Clean.

What advice do you have for people thirty-something who still feel stuck?

Ruth: It is important to remember not to fear change. I believe that it was, in part, a fear of the unknown, plus doubts about myself, that kept me from reaching for higher goals. Facing fear can be one of the most liberating feelings a person can ever know.

Bonnie: I still can't get over "engineer," with your poet self such a major part of you.

(Both laugh.)

Ruth: When I turned 30, I finally felt strong enough to give college another try. I started at Calhoun in 2011 with the idea that I would pursue something to do with computers. Math is one of the subjects that had intimidated me the most, so I was completely surprised to find that I was pretty good at it. After taking a few computer programming classes, I discovered that I enjoy math more than programming. In fact, I figured out that my preference lies more with hardware than software. These realizations helped me to decide that engineering would likely prove to be more enjoyable to me.

Bonnie: Back in the days of high school, when you felt withdrawn, out-of-place, and so unhappy, you never imagined that someday you would consider life work that would be "enjoyable" to you and that you would actually set out with confidence to make that dream a reality - and with someone you love, to whom you are committed - at your back.

Ruth: No . . . never.

Bonnie: I think that's why you're a hero, Ruth. You have kept putting one foot in front of the other, sometimes without knowing where your foot would land, but you have never given up. Taken short "breaks," maybe, but never given up. You've done well in the world of poetry and will now in the academic world of engineering. Monique has not had a recurrence of breast cancer in almost 3 years. Do you feel you are a successful person?

Ruth: To me, success is happiness, and by that measure, I'm Bill Gates.

Bonnie: To me, Ruth, you're a hero.

Poetry credentials: Started Noone's Art Gallery & Poetry Slam; with Allen Berry, Jack Dempsey, and Stephanie Walker, founded the Limestone Dust Poetry Festival; served as President of the LDPF (2006-2011); mentored poets at Stearns Poetry Readings; poem "Truth," published in the anthology, She Speaks.

Place a check by the statements with which you basically agree. If you aren't sure, place a question mark.

1. Most parents, the world over, suffer unimaginable grief when they lose a child.

2. Most people want to live free from fear.

3. Most people believe that individual lives have value because they were created.

4. Many people believe that children are special because life has not yet written on them, the good and the bad it will write on them, and they have not yet written on life, the good and the bad they will write on life.

5. Many people believe that children represent hope for a better future.

6. Most people, if they saw a child standing in the middle of a road, and a car were coming, would do everything possible to see that the child would not be injured: calling to the child, picking up the child, waving down the driver to stop. A few heroic people would give their own lives by pushing the child out of the way of danger and taking the blow themselves.

7. Very few people would willingly set out to destroy a child.

8. Children everywhere are about the same. They play, imagine, want to grow up, play hide-n'-seek, make mud pies, love sweets, want to be loved by their parents, do not like to be afraid.

9. Children everywhere have hair that is blond, brown, red, black.

10. Children everywhere have eyes that are green, brown, black, blue, hazel.

11. If a child were to ask for our help, no matter where we were, most likely, most of us would help that child.

12. People who are sociopaths, abusers, psychopaths, or who have some other mental illness, violent in nature, would, possibly, with malice, hurt a child.

13. It is important for children to be able to grow up, to live out their lives and dreams. It is every child's birthright to have a chance to live out his or her potential.

14. God loves children. In the Christian Bible, Christ says one must be as a little child to enter the kingdom of Heaven, and also, "Suffer the little children to come unto me."

15. Most people in this country think/feel that hurting children is wrong, immoral, and sometimes outright evil. When a child is abused, most people demand the most stringent punishment possible for the abuser.

Given the statements you have pondered, how do you feel about sending drones into foreign countries to drop bombs that kill innocent families, including children?

Challenging Your Values and Beliefs

16. Most people do not want to think about the government sanctioning the killing of children. We call children "the hope of future generations." How can we, at the same time, call them “collateral damage"?

17. Children killed in war are not "collateral damage," anymore than a child killed by a madman. A child killed is a child lost to the world and to himself or herself.

18. When children are deeply afraid, they cannot play, feel happy, or create. They can no longer be children, when drones overhead become their daily life. They breathe, eat, and sleep the fear of annihilation.

19. Unfortunately, I don't, in the core of myself, believe that many people in my country will ever acknowledge the double standard set for the importance and value of children, of family, of life here, as opposed to other nations, other races, other religions, as though we are the only inhabitants of this planet.

20. I wish the scope of this "collateral damage" tragedy could be rung from every church steeple, from every temple, from every rooftop, from every mountaintop, from every boat and buoy on the seas of the world.

_______

How does human denial work so well that we cannot see that the child in the road, if wearing a car coat with a hood, could be Iraqi, American, Iranian, could be from India, could be Muslim, Christian, or Hindu?

We would help, protect - simply "a child."

"Collateral damage" is one of the greatest lies ever told to make us feel okay - to brainwash us - about killing and maiming millions of innocents - from the Vietnam War to the present.

In the Iraq War, sources vary about the number of children killed; but, out of a million or more civilians to lose their lives, at least 29% were children. Global Research claims that justForeignPolicy's estimate of 1,455,590 is a more accurate death toll for Iraq; and of these civilian deaths, 39% of air raid fatalities have been those of children.

Are we so ignorant of the power of propaganda, such as "comfortable," meaningless words, like "collateral damage," to overcome our values and moral beliefs?

How can we happily ride along in our cars on the way to dance or soccer with our children, pretending we are innocent, when we are the cause of so much loss and suffering for other children, their parents, and everyone connected to their lives?

Denial is easier, numbing - but it is killing our souls.

The next time we support war, we must inventory our own values.

The next time we support drones and strafing, I hope we feel, like the bloodiest battle wound, the unspeakable, unimaginable tragedy of dead children lying end to end for thousands of miles.

At times, gut-wrenching remorse is appropriate - and this is one of them. We cannot blame anyone but our individual selves. We are the ones who empower the government - either by apathy, or by the hot desire for war and revenge. We are the ones who do not demand that our government make war a most desperate last-ditch option. We are the ones who make this country the aggressive, hating - rather than peace-loving - country it is. The responsibility for drones lies like a dead child across our shoulders.

There is the delusion/illusion of "collateral damage." There is the undeniable reality of making war on children.

What then must we do? What then must you do?

References:

The British polling firm, ORB, fair.org/extra-online-articles/a-millionHYPERLINK "fair.org/extra-online-articles/a-million-iraqi-dead"-IHYPERLINK "fair.org/extra-online-articles/a-million-iraqi-dead"raqi-dead

Global Research,

http://www.globalresearch.ca/the-children-of-Iraq-was-the-price-worth-it/30760

http://www.justForeignPolicy.org