The Single Guy: Communi-Date

by Aaron Hurd

The 5 letter Word that translates to a 4 letter word!

A few issues ago I wrote an article on how I basically have no balls and how I am a complete whimp when it comes to dating now that I am older and “wiser” (yes that is in quotes because I am not sure the wiser has hit me yet). I compared the “game” like playing Atari Versus PS3 because Atari is easier to master.

Here is one of the many emails I received on this subject.

Mastering the old games??? Listen you are not much older in first place to have that kind of mentality. You are just 30 years old and in my opinion you should not be transmitting such negative thoughts if you are really trying to find someone. First of all you need to look at yourself, understand who you are, be confident about your persona and then make the necessary changes to attract the right kind of female. Set a goal of finding the person with the characteristics you want in this sweet lady and do not give up until you find her. Remember that there is nothing attractive about a quitter. Don't be afraid of being able to play with the most amazing and updated games with the coolest features that the other old games didn't have. After all everyone likes progress right?

First of all, bless you for saying I am not old. Second, Wow nothing like putting me in my place. Also, I try to be positive in life, so calling me out on my little “Negative moment” just made me realize I have got to be on my A-Game and not slack in the optimism department. You said it best, “No one likes a quitter” and I have “quit” on many occasions in relationships. Or as I like to call it my Pride was at stake and I had to protect that crazy pride-which really translates to, again you said it, ‘Quitter”. In reality, my pride (5 letter word) has probably ruined a lot of great relationships for me in the past, which made me quit (4 letter word)!

So today kids, I want to talk about that 5-letter word –PRIDE! Has it gotten any of you in trouble as much as it has me? My ego has gotten the best of me many times when it comes to dating and relationships. Pride and being stubborn are two qualities that don’t work too well in a relationship, and I rank high in both! This very well may be the reason why I am still single!

I have always been a one chance guy and maybe two if you’re lucky! Of course you see how well that has worked out for me. Is my pride getting the best of me or do I need to re-evaluate where my pride needs to be present and when it needs to be far away? I am thinking it would not be a bad idea to let it disappear for a while when I work on my next relationship.

Pride is obviously a big deal. Just for Kicks I looked it up on-line and found that there are over 4,000 songs that contain the word “Pride” in the title - I can think of a few as I type. (Great- now I’ll be singing the Temptations for the next few weeks).

So I want your help on this one….Is pride a good thing or a bad thing in relationships? Is it essential to let down your pride in order to save a relationship? What are your thoughts? Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. - Let’s discuss this one-I am interested to hear thoughts on this prideful matter!

by Aaron Hurd

New Year, New Possibilities…So why do I have to grow up!?!

Here it is another year, the Holidays are done and I am still single and only getting older, so the big question is why do I have to grow up!? Even if I don’t want to grow up it seems like something just seemed to click when I hit thirty that completely changed my dating style. In the long run it will be for the better, but in the short run it sucks!

And of course, right around the corner is the Holiday us singles hate most… the big V-day, Heart Day, Vomit day (as I like to call it)! A time for lovers to reflect on that special someone and a time for us to reflect that we do not have that special someone, right!? Honestly I hate the day even when I am in a relationship, but being single does not make it any better by any means.

And all this happens with a mind that is forced to grow up and face reality because I am a man in my thirties. Funny how things change even if you do not want them to. I was talking to a male friend the other day who is reaching thirty and he said the same thing. Up to thirty I was dating every girl I could whether I was fully interested or not… then at thirty, almost overnight, something clicked in me that made me think, “What a big waste of time!”

Why waste all my time and energy on a girl that I fully knew in my heart would not amount to anything further than a good time… someone pretty to have on my arm, JUST to have a pretty lady with me out on the town? At thirty, it is like a big light bulb turned on that said, “Why are your wasting your time” and more importantly “why are you wasting Her time?” If I was not fully interested in her and never saw a future with her then why waste time going through the motions? Especially when I know in the end, it is going to turn out with me finding some excuse to walk away while keeping my eyes peeled for someone better for me…That special “someone”, the “one”! Not fair right?

So what have I done with this new “mature mind?” I will tell you - Not a DAMN thing! That is where this growing up sucks. I grew up, changed my thought process, but somewhere in the middle lost my balls! I want the right one, I want a girl I can fully and truly fall in love with and vice versa but cannot find the nerve to get out there and approach the girls I want. In fact, I don’t even want to try anymore - it is like I have given up completely! It makes me want to bounce back to my old ways and date whoever comes along JUST to say I still have game! However, it is a game. It is a game where I am playing with hearts of girls I never see a future with.

It’s like playing Atari vs. PS3 because I know I can master the old games! And the games are cheap and easy to find and get! Yes, I want the PS3! It has all the features I want - classy, smooth, pretty and all, but I am too afraid to touch it. If this is my thirties…take me back to my twenties, where I had courage and balls to make a freakin’ move and approach the girls out of my league! Damn a few of them actually said YES!

So this new year - I am focusing on growing my balls back! And putting them to work literally! Haha I am making a vow to get the hell out there and take a chance. I figure the worst I can hear is no, right? I encourage you all to do the same. Life is short and you never know unless you try – Cliché, I know, but true!

And if anyone can find my balls please let me know where I can find them! I would like to find them before they’re just dragging on the ground in my seventies - when they will be no good at all!

Am I the only guy who feels this way - is it a thirty something thing? Females, do you hit this peak at all? How do we get out of the funk? Let’s discuss, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

by Aaron Hurd

The Rules of Dating…Who wrote this stuff?!?!

So, how many of you STILL follow the rules of dating, and be honest, has it worked out for you? I have done the rules and broken the rules, forgot the rules, analyzed the rules so many times I think I forgot the original rules completely! Maybe that is why so many singles are lost nowadays….the damn rules are screwing us up!

Better get to reading time is clicking….

I just recently read an article on-line from a 30 something year old female about not wanting kids and how many of her friends settled down, got married and started making babies because of the “Biological Clock” you ladies speak of so often. It got me thinking.