by Aaron Hurd
The Settled Single Life…Good or Bad?
In the last issue I talked about the fact that as I get older and more mature in the ways of relationships, I also seem to get more nervous. I get more to where I just do not want to take the risk or to even try anymore…Basically, I lost the mojo, pimp card, etc!
I got several emails and one in particular really got my attention.
I just read your article and I think it is common among men and women at around the 30 year age range where we all just seem to get settled in our ways. Perhaps, it is not “lack of balls” as you so comically stated. Maybe you are getting settled in your single guy ways?
Way to just punch me in the gut! This is my biggest fear- to get settled in singleness and never really try to find more.
As much as I want to settle down and find someone special, the more time that goes by …the more I do seem to get more settled in my ways. And that is pretty terrifying! Maybe even more so than getting out there and finding someone!
I used to judge folks who used on-line dating sites, or who were constantly asking people to set them up, or who were constantly advertising the fact that they were on the market and looking. (Ironic- I know - look who writes a column on it? haha). However, the truth is those folks are the ones with balls! The ones that I would sit back and watch get that special someone because of their actions. Yet, here I am just getting more and more settled in my ways and NOT taking the chance to find someone or giving anyone the chance to find me! Here is an email I received from an older reader who is refusing to get settled in singleness. I can’t help but admire his drive:
Months ago you had me visit Lee Ann’s, since I am not in the bar scene, tried something else.
Finally, I thought I met the woman of my dreams & that doesn’t happen too often, on this internet site. Wow! This woman, in shape, what a shape, Miss America Legs, just 57, Blonde, 2 jobs, 1 as a Special Ed teacher, the other, a bartender, What’s not to love! Met for drinks, 2.5 hours of the best time in 19 months! She kisses very sweetly, stole a couple! She doesn’t return calls or emails? Just when I thought I found someone? My guess is move on?
Offered Las Vegas, no nibbles, asked old girlfriend, without hesitation, “YES” leaving in a couple months. Couldn’t get the new, in Huntsville, back to the old in Virginia is that saying what is old is new!?? Jackpot!
I can learn a few things from this guy! He had a great two and a half hour date, which if it was only once, he still had a major blast compared to the last 19 months. Then he turns around and gets to reconnect with an ex in Vegas - And, all because he did not give up and refuses to settled as a single man! When one said no - he found another! This is living the single life the way you are supposed to - by taking chances! Not just once, but again and again until you find the one. Way to go!
I am not saying it is good to settle for someone that is not right JUST to have someone, but is being settled in your ways as a single person a good or bad thing? Email me at